My Dollie Baby

Subject: My Weaning Diary
Date: 9 May 2009 (Saturday)
Racia is 2 years and 2 months and 5 days old today

I started weaning Racia on Monday (4 May 09) this week. This had been a really difficult week for the two of us. I kept a diary this week to chart her progress and also for me to look back and remember this time.

4 May 09 - Monday
Racia cried really hard (non-stop) for 20 minutes. She cried till she threw up and finally fell into an exhausted sleep after about 20 minutes. She woke up intermittently though out the night but surprisingly she could fall back asleep after crying. Towards dawn she woke crying badly, i gave in and latched her and she went back to sleep.

5 May 09 - Tuesday
Again, Racia cried really hard for 10 minutes. She finally agreed to let me carry her and she fell asleep lying on me. She woke up 1 hour later and cried for another 10 minutes before falling asleep again on my chest. She woke up a few time throughout the night crying for my breast. I gave in again and latched her twice when she woke around 3 am and 4 am.

6 May 09 - Wednesday
I was braced for more crying tonight and finally at 8:30pm (her bedtime), she started her crying episode. She cried for about 15 minutes. The good news was that her crying was not as hard and forceful. I have been thinking of SIL's suggestion of applying medicated oil on my breast to deter her. I finally asked hubby to bring me the medicated oil when she kept crying for my breast. I pour a tiny bit on my fingers and rub it near my breast. I told Racia that my breast is "La La" and i asked her to smell. When she went near it and smell the medicated oil, she screamed and cried hysterically for 10 minutes. I was kinda shocked by her reaction. She finally fell asleep exhausted from crying. She woke up crying at 2:30am but I did not give in. She fell back asleep lying on me and crying for 10 minutes. At 6:30am, she woke up crying for my breast again, i persisted. She kept crying and finally woke up fully after 10 minutes. She then took her teddy bear, stopped crying and smiled to me.

After today, i finally realised that my daughter had become a BFing addict. There are 2 sides to her, when she was rational, she was a wonderful child but when her addict kicked in, she became a monster! I really hope tomorrow night will be a better night with less crying.

7 May 09 - Thursday
Racia exhibited some really weird behaviour tonight. When it was near her bedtime, she refused to sleep. She insisted on playing and seeing her pictures in the digital camera and refused to switch off the lights in the bedroom. We struggled to get her to sleep. Finally at 10:30pm, she insisted on Nai Nai carrying her and she fell asleep after a short struggle on Nai Nai's arms. .
She woke up once at night crying for "milk milk" and i ignored her. She eventually fell back to sleep all by herself after crying for about 5 minutes.

8 May 09 - Friday
As a treat for her effort this week, I brought her to MacDonald's tonight.
By the time we reached home, it was close to 9pm. Again, she refused to sleep in my arms. She cried asking for Nai Nai and in the end, she fell asleep on Nai Nai's arms again. I felt a bit sad tonight when she does not want to sleep in my arms. But knowing that this is a difficult period for both of us, i know I should be more optimistic.

I really do hope that she will be totally weaned off my breast by the end of this week. A part of me feels sad that she is not drinking from my breast any more. I guess part of me still do not wish to wean her off.

9 May 09 - Saturday
I had a hard time making her nap this afternoon. She refused to sleep and lie down on the bed. Finally at 1:30pm, I carried her out into the living room and she fell asleep after lying on my chest for 10 minutes.

Tonight, she didn't go to bed till 10pm! I realised it is now so much harder to put Racia to nap/sleep. It used to be so much easier before, all i had to do is to latch her on and usually within 2 minutes, she would be asleep. I guess the two of us are still adjusting to this new change.

I was feeling emotional today, I told hubby again that i am feeling so sad. I felt that I was not prepared to wean her off nor did i gave her enough time and prepare her on this weaning. I felt that she was weaned cold turkey!

I think i am finally successful in weaning her as she never once asked for my breast at all today. I guess part of me was not ready to wean her. I was telling hubby that i am not sure what was the urgency in me wanting to wean her. This was because there was really no major or critical reason for me to wean her now. But alas, i can't look back now, what is done is done and I can't turn back the clock.

The comfort for me now is that i think she is finally starting to get better quality sleep. She can now sleep longer at night and she is waking up less. I am hoping that soon, she would be able to sleep all the way through without waking up at all. And now when she wakes, she would usually cry less than 5 minutes and will fall back to sleep on her own(no more struggling, pulling at my clothes demanding for my breast.)

Tomorrow is the last day of this week and will be the last entry of this one week diary. Let's hope the post will be a better and more cheerful one. :)

10 May 09 - Sunday
Today was good :) She slept on my shoulders in the car after class on the way home.
And tonight, I lie next to her while she toss and turn herself. She finally went to bed all by herself after tossing for close to 20 minutes. What an achievement! And not once did she asked for my breast.
Next steps, I will need to readjust her sleeping time again. Because of this weaning, she has not been able to fall asleep at her usual bedtime at 9pm. Instead, she has been falling asleep at 10pm or 10:30pm. Let's hope this will improve soon.